erm.....

I barely ever wrote for a while- you reach a stage in life where there's not much that phases you, it's the smug comfortable stage. I was happy, but used to being that way, and not excited happy, more like, I-have-something-to-live-for-everything- is-working-out-taking-pleasure-in-the-li ttle-things happy..
But lately, while the main things that made me happy- forgive me for saying so, but JAY, mainly, is still there, and continues to make me happy- he is not physically here- infact, lately, I have no one. Not a day goes by that someone I consider a close friend makes me feel as though I trust in the wrong people. I am so very alone in these days of daunting stress, and my little collected world feels as if it's falling apart.. it's very discouraging.. especially my thoughts and feelings toward myself.

Anyway, this is not a smug, comfortable, happy stage in my life. Infact, mostly due to my own doing, it is a very chaotic, and emotional time. It's taking a lot for me not to give up on everything and everyone. But I know that I have goals to meet if I am ever to get where I want to, maintenance of everything has just become very difficult, and coping, even more.

This may be a period of random writing.
I suppose it is about time.

Not that I get much feedback...